Hello my lovely, lovely followers!
In case you couldn’t tell by the broken stream of consciousness / incoherent word vomit on this blog for the past month or two (or three? or four…), I have been finding less and less of a reason to be here anymore. I moved most of my thoughts into a journal, and when I think about it I just come and.. waste time on this. The facebook break I took over the summer really helped me waste less time on facebook when I got back to it, and inspired by that I have decided to go on a Tumblr hiatus for an indefinite period of time! Actually, probably forever! In the meantime, I’m gonna channel my energy into life and living and learning and studio. But before I go, here’s a huge word dump post of some of the more important things that have been building up in my drafts.
- The Lois I was for as long as I can remember has been obsessed with pretty things. That’s why I thought I was so happy with design, because I got the chance to make things pretty. Oddly enough though, the Lois I am now is strangely drawn to the ugly things. The broken things. The things overlooked and bursting with imperfection and character. I’m drawn enough to the point where I’m not afraid to push my work and projects past the limits of my comfort, even if it means making them ugly. Even if it means ruining them. And that’s the reason why I’m happy with design.
- There’s a long story behind this but after years (literally years) of uncertainty, I just recently finally hit a point of utter peace with my major. And not only that, but I actually have friends in studio this year. That sounded kind of sad but last year I really struggled because I felt like I didn’t have friends LOL. I know I’ve said that I love my major multiple times in the past, but for once I can honestly say that I love studio. I love my studio.
- Speaking of studio, I consider my last studio project to be sort of sacrificed, because I deliberately designed the opposite of how I normally would just for the sake of going outside my comfort zone, without caring much about how “pretty” it came out to be. But I think I got a lot out of it. Who cares if it was a competition HAHA whatever..
- And while we’re on the topic of comfort zones… Took me long enough to realize this, but I feel the most alive outside of my comfort zone. Trying new things and talking to strangers and finding ways to chase discomfort are my favorite things now.
- What I’ve gotten out of my current re-obsession with poetry/slam is that words are sososo powerful, guys. And realizing this has only made me want to be that much more careful with my words, to only speak truths. It’s been a while since I said something out of spite, and I’m on my way to wiping swear words out of my vocabulary! Even when I’m angry!
- God has really been working in my family this summer, and in my relationship with my parents. A year ago I would have never imagined that I’d be as close to my mom as I am now. <3
- Actually, it’s funny how drastically things can change in a year. Exactly a year ago studio was my biggest burden, but now it’s one of the best things going for me. And I’m confident in myself as a designer now. And it shows in my work hell yeahhh!
- They say people never change and I’ve always believed so too, but how can I agree now? When I can so clearly see ways that I’ve changed in the course of just half a year. But you know, I still lose my hokie passport all too frequently. And my socks still come off halfway in my shoes. And I still find solace in stairways. And I still listen to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack to add on to the epicness of designing. And I always always check for stars at night.
- Oh, and I am no longer apologetic for who I am. I’m no longer sorry for not being able to be someone else. Don’t underestimate the things that I will do.
Congratulations if you read through all of that!
If you want to keep up with me from here on out, you’re gonna have to grab a cup of coffee with me and listen to me ramble in person, instead of creeping on my Tumblr. I’m always down to share vibes :)
Here are a handful of some lovely words I’ve collected (because collecting words is awesome):
- l’esprit de l’escalier
And here is a rendering from one of my projects:
Maybe the next time I come back here (if I do), I’ll show you guys my portfolio. Or maybe not.
All in all, I’m doing pretty good.
Thanks for keeping track of my growth.
'twas an interesting 4 years.
"To define is to limit."
That 24-hours-until-final-pinup timeframe…
There’s so much freedom in forgiveness
I’m beginning to see more and more that people have this tendency to shine. Some people radiate with such brightness and light that it’s as if I can’t help but be drawn to them.
It’s like the way flowers grow towards the sun.
Whenever you’re tempted, look back on this. On the proof. Remember how shamelessly you fought and tried. Look back on each blow and bruise leading up to surrender. Look back on the moment your spirit broke. I guarantee you all trace of temptation will be gone by the time you’re done.